The 34 Commandments
A few years ago Moses went up to Mount Sinai and came back with commandments written on stone tablets. Pretty impressive that the rules to govern human behavior could be simplified to ten things. I’ll share a quote from Cecil B. Demille, the Hollywood producer and director of The Ten Commandments who said: “[God] did not create man and then, as an afterthought, impose upon him a set of arbitrary, irritating, restrictive rules. He made man free—and then gave him the Commandments to keep him free.
Likewise, following the rules of health gives us the best chance to be free from illness.
Admittedly, I cannot get the number of heart “commandments” even close to ten. This is a compilation of all of the recommendations compiled over the years as a cardiologist. They’re a pretty nice summary of the “shalt and shalt nots” of heart health. Enjoy.
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Thou shalt eat whole grains, berries, nuts, fruits, beans, seeds, legumes, and vegetables.
Thou shalt eat polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats found in fish, nuts, and other plants. Rememberest thou that an avocado a day keeps the cardiologist away.
Thou shalt rid thyself of the thought that a low-fat diet healeth the heart. It really doth not.
Thou shalt NOT eat processed meats.
Thou shalt eat meats from animals of the land sparingly. If thy cow doth wade in the water, this doth not maketh it a fish.
Thou shalt eat chocolate with cacao. Thou shalt NOT eat white chocolate because letteth us be honest – it is not real chocolate.
Thou shalt NOT drink alcohol but if you ignoreth this commandment do drink less than 1 alcoholic drink daily.
Thou shalt eat breakfast each morning.
Thou shalt get most of thy daily calories before dinner.
Thou shalt fast between dinner and breakfast.
Thou shalt NOT eat fried foods cooked in used oil no mattereth the savings of thy fast food coupons.
Thou mayest add garlic to thy foods but for the love of all within thy household do batheth thy body and brusheth thy teeth oft.
Thou shalt use extra virgin olive oil (how couldeth this oil be bad with a name like unto that).
Thou shalt be the salt of the earth but thou shalt NOT eat more than 2,000mg of it daily.
Thou shalt NOT eat more than 1 serving of processed foods a day. Rememberest that if thou has a difficult time pronouncing most of the ingredients, thou mayest think to thyself something such as this- “Doritos: get thee hence.”
Thou shalt eat a handful of unprocessed nuts most days and it mattereth not which type. Also forgettest the adage that thou is what thou eatest.
Thou shalt exercise vigorously three to four times weekly for thirty to forty minutes at a time. Rememberest moderation in all things and avoid daily vigorous exercise.
Thou shalt use your lucre for a dog and walketh with the animal oft. Thou shalt NOT purchase a cat after a heart attack or thy days shall be shortened.
Thou shalt strengthen thy muscles two times weekly for twenty to thirty minutes a time. Know that thou may still cutteth thy hair and keep thy strength.
Thou shalt NOT smoke cigarettes, smoke marijuana, or vape. Know that thou dost not look as cool as thou might think in doing so.
Thou shalt keep thy blood pressure below 130/80mmHg if thou has heart disease, kidney disease, diabetes, or had a stroke. Thou shalt keep thy blood pressure mostly below 140/90 if thou dost not have those conditions.
Thou shalt marry and live happily with thy spouse.
Thou shalt nap in the afternoons several times a week for twenty to thirty minutes at a time. Rememberest that resting from labor is divine.
Thou shalt NOT leave sleep apnea untreated. Have mercy upon thy bed mate.
Thou shalt keep thy waist size below 36 inches if thou art a man and 30 inches if thou art a woman. Thou shalt NOT be like unto a Yo-Yo constantly going between dieting and gluttony. Thou shalt develop a healthy pattern of eating all the days of thy life.
Thou shalt go to church weekly. Thou shalt NOT count the National Football League as church.
Thou shalt keep thy HgbA1c around 7.0 if thou hast diabetes.
Thou shalt be grateful all the days of thy life.
Thou shalt laugh several times a day (but notteth at someone).
Thou shalt go outside of thy house and into the parks and valleys and streams and mountains several times a week.
Thou shalt avoid constant noise during the day and the night.
Thou shalt NOT taketh a daily aspirin unless thy heart has had an attack.
Thou shalt NOT supplement with CoQ10, vitamin D, niacin, multivitamins and fish oils to prevent a heart attack as they doeth nothing for thee except draineth thy pockets.
Thou shalt take a statin and small dose aspirin if thou hast had a heart attack. Rememberest that thy doctor who recommends these to thee knows what is good for thee more than thy beloved Google.
You vastly exceeded your clever quotient on this one, Dr. Matt! I’m glad we are still on your mailing list, and I’ll be sharing this one with our numerous progeny.
PS. Loved your Christmas card. Your wife is clever too, albeit much more concise and straightforward than you. That’s not an insult to you – just a complimentary observation of your amazingly balanced skills. Happy, Healthy Christmas to you and yours!